Bitter Remains Read online

  In 2004, Laura started working for an Applebee’s restaurant in Raleigh. She had the right stuff to be a good waitress: a cheerful, perky personality and girl-next-door good looks with an engaging smile and shoulder-length brown hair. There she met coworker Heidi Schumacher, a bright young woman with an equally sweet smile and longer hair that she sometimes wore up. The two women hit it off right away. After a short while, they both moved on to new jobs, initially together at the Front Row Sports Bar, though Heidi soon moved on to pursue an insurance career.

  Laura had started taking online classes at Kirkwood Community College while living with her brother, and after earning her associate of arts degree from Kirkwood in 2005, she thought about a career in real estate, and took a seventy-five-hour prelicensing course at JY Monk Real Estate School that same year. Her natural talents and interests were stimulated, however, by two classes she took at the community college, one in graphic design and the other in marketing. She decided to focus on developing her graphic-arts skills and obtaining the necessary marketing acumen needed to start her own business. In her spare time, by using the Internet, the library and networking, Laura built on her academic introduction, absorbing all the knowledge she could to pave the path for her future. And to pay the bills in the meantime, she also worked for Bassett Furniture Direct in Raleigh doing retail sales and helping customers with decorating solutions.

  Even though they were on different trajectories, the two friends continued to stay in contact through regular e-mail, live chat and phone calls along with occasional face-to-face meetings. From time to time, Heidi had Laura over to her parents’ house in Wake Forest, situated between Raleigh and Youngsville. Before long, Laura was like a part of their family. It filled a void in her life since, except for her brother Jason, the rest of her relatives were in the Midwest.

  In mid-April 2007, Laura called Jason bubbling over with excitement because of the new romance in her life. She told him about Grant Hayes, a great new guy she was seeing. Jason hoped that his little sister was embarking on a good relationship but knew the odds weren’t in her favor. Her fractured family life and rocky high school experience had left her naïve, immature and vulnerable.

  At the end of that month, Heidi returned from nearly two months of insurance training in Chicago. Laura greeted her friend with the news that she had a big surprise. When they got together at an Italian restaurant to celebrate Laura’s twenty-third birthday on April 30, Heidi could see immediately that her friend was very excited. It went far beyond her regular perkiness; Laura seemed to hum and vibrate with high emotion.

  Laura quickly blurted out: “I got married! Surprise!” She explained that she and Grant had exchanged vows in front of the justice of the peace in Raleigh earlier that very day.

  Heidi was knocked off balance over the news—she didn’t know Grant Hayes, and this all seemed so sudden, nearly surreal. She covered her shock with a smile and said, “Well, awesome.”

  It turned out that Grant, Laura’s new husband, was a musician, who’d be performing at the restaurant that same night. Laura introduced Heidi to him out in the parking lot. Grant gave Heidi a hug, and she returned it while assessing the shorter, African-American man with a shaved head standing in front of her. Heidi thought that he looked familiar, but it took her a moment to realize that he was the same musician who’d been playing at the Blue Martini Bar and Lounge on South Wilmington Street, where she and Laura had gone together right before Heidi left for Chicago. She knew that Laura had spoken to Grant on his break between sets that night, but had no idea that there had been any further contact between the two of them.

  She wasn’t impressed; in fact, she was certain Laura could do better. But while her misgivings were immediate, Heidi sincerely hoped that they were groundless and that her friend’s newfound happiness would never end.

  —

  GRANT Ruffin Hayes III was born to Patsy and Grant Hayes Junior on April 30, 1979. He grew up with one sister, Grantina, whom everyone called Tina. According to his mother, Grant was a “sweet child—he was very docile.” In high school, she said, her son was so charming “that all the girls liked him.” Being able to play guitar added to his popularity, and even while still a teenager, he was good enough to perform on the Raleigh nightclub scene.

  When he was eighteen, he married a ballerina named Emily Lubbers and moved down to Greenville, North Carolina. Grant said that she and her dancing were the inspiration for many of the songs he wrote. Emily attended school at East Carolina University and worked a job to support the couple. Grant was frustrated in his attempts to secure work that suited him. And that was a sticking point: Grant always seemed to think he was too good for any of the jobs he was qualified to get.

  The relationship dissolved rather quickly. As it disintegrated, Grant fell into a deep funk and sought psychiatric treatment. He was prescribed medications for depression and bipolar disorder, including lithium. Then he moved back to Raleigh.

  According to a close friend, the religious instruction Grant had received growing up remained apparent in his life. He regularly attended church, made prayer an essential part of every day and studied the Bible faithfully until 2003. But then, the friend said, Grant turned his religious fervor over to Tupac Shakur’s music, learning all the lyrics of Tupac songs just as he once learned Bible verses. Grant began to spend most of his time talking to others by relating tales from the life of Tupac.

  Soon after, he started drinking, smoking marijuana and experimenting with cocaine and heroin. Through this period, Grant still worked hard, made money, took his medication as prescribed, and seemingly maintained control over his mental illness. But after someone gave him 2C-E, a synthetic hallucinogen, Grant couldn’t get enough of it. He was hooked on the intense visual hallucinations that many users said were more vivid than those experienced under the influence of LSD. Although the effects of each dose only lasted for six to ten hours, the drug tended to alter perception throughout the next day.

  Grant snorted it regularly and, within weeks, his friend said, Grant was no longer capable of having a “normal, business-style conversation.” He was consumed by delusions of grandeur and often made no sense at all. “It seemed he’d started a habit of believing the first thing that popped into his head. He’d continue trains of thought to nowhere and then start a new one in a split second. He had lost something—something in his mind. A part of him wasn’t there anymore,” his friend said.

  —

  ONE night in late 2006, as he performed at a venue, a twenty-two-year-old woman, Laura Ackerson, caught his eye. She attended a few more of his shows and once brought Heidi with her to a performance before her friend went out of town. Right after that, Grant and Laura started dating. Laura was taken by the fact that she and Grant shared a birthday—it made their coming together seem like fate.

  It was on their next birthday, April 30, 2007, that they exchanged vows before a justice of the peace. Laura turned twenty-three that day, Grant twenty-eight.

  CHAPTER THREE

  LAURA strongly believed in Grant’s musical talent and thought that with a little help he could hone it into a remarkably successful music career. She actively marketed him to various venues and lined up bookings through Rare Breed Entertainment Agency, whose only client appeared to be Grant. She also encouraged him to keep working on the development of his natural artistic talent.

  Grant, however, behaved like a man who wanted more than a supportive partner; he acted as if he wanted someone he could control at all times and in every way. In no time, Grant had taken charge of Laura’s life. It was too easy for him to dominate and manipulate the younger, naïve woman with low self-esteem. He attempted to establish control over all her activities and associations.

  The honeymoon was over. Among his more outrageous requests, he asked her to talk to his fans about their sex life and brag about his penis size. When she objected and was horrified at that prospect, he said
he didn’t understand why she had a problem with it. He said that it was obvious to everyone that she was “trash” because she was a white girl in a relationship with a black man.

  Grant shocked Laura in a different way one evening a few weeks later at Jack Astor’s Bar and Grill in Cary. Another musician rebuked him for arriving late for a gig and Grant pulled a knife on him. He told Laura he was justified because the guy had used the word “fuck” when talking to him.

  Laura experienced other incidents that caused her to be fearful for her personal safety. From time to time, Grant slipped into what he described as his “blackouts” or “lost time.” In the midst of those disengagements from reality, he acted odd and violent, and then he would fall suddenly into a restless sleep for many hours, twitching throughout as if he were engaged in an unceasing nightmare.

  On one particularly bad occasion, Grant, fueled by cocaine, wrote a nonsensical autobiography that he posted on Myspace. After finishing that task, he pulled out an air pump BB gun and began shooting at Laura. The pings weren’t causing any serious physical harm, but they were very painful.

  She pleaded with him to stop but he just kept pulling the trigger and staring at her with empty, hawklike eyes as if she were prey waiting to be torn asunder. She held up a kitchen towel to block some of the BBs as she made her escape from the room. Laura was never certain if these episodes were all drug-induced or not.

  He attempted to indoctrinate her in some of his peculiar beliefs. He told her he believed he was a “time traveler” and that “beings” from other planets followed him around and often talked to him. He thought that those same beings ran the United States. Not only did he believe a government collapse was imminent, he said, “The world will end on December 31, 2012,” and he needed “to get enough cash to make it on one of those alien ships at the end of the planet.” He believed that very rich, famous, necessary individuals would either be in an underground system of tunnels or on the ships while Armageddon raged across the earth. It sounded as if he had read a piece of Scientology literature and appropriated bits and pieces for his own personal religious doctrine.

  Laura would have liked to have believed it was one big joke, but Grant seemed dead serious about his delusional belief structure. The more she learned about these ideas, the more disturbing it was to her. But she had grown more under his control once she was pregnant with his child. No matter how crazy he acted, no matter how nutty his beliefs sounded, he was the father of the baby she carried and she was totally dependent on him now. She had entered the relationship without a strong sense of self and Grant eroded what little she did have. She was stranded in a volatile relationship with none of the needed self-confidence to strike out on her own.

  A few months after their wedding, Grant had also asked Laura to be in a polygamous relationship with him. When she refused, he went outside of the marriage and hooked up with a girl named Kristen that December, a mere seven months after his matrimonial ceremony with Laura.

  Laura learned about the woman’s existence when she was in the second trimester of her pregnancy. The grin on Grant’s face while he talked to Kristen on the phone with Laura was in the same room made it seem as if he was delighted to keep Laura’s insecurity at the highest level possible. Knowing she could hear him, he asked Kristen to marry and run off with him. When Grant hung up from the call, Laura confronted him. He justified his behavior by pointing to her polygamy refusal. He then added that he wanted to have sex with Kristen because she had a “large butt.” Although Grant obviously needed the company of adoring females, it seemed as if he had no respect for any woman.

  Grant certainly didn’t have any for Laura’s close friend Heidi Schumacher—in fact, he despised her. He told Laura what he thought of that woman and insisted that she cut off contact with her, but the two women kept communicating despite Grant’s disapproval. When he was at a band meeting, prepping for a show or performing, they’d get together somewhere for a cup of coffee or dinner.

  Despite those efforts with Heidi, however, Laura would later admit, “I allowed myself to be alienated from my friends and family. Everyone I knew was either ‘really dumb’ or ‘too fat’ or ‘not good enough to be around us,’ according to Grant.”

  In her third trimester, Laura was once on the phone with Heidi, who could hear Grant yelling in the background, “Heidi is a bad influence on you! I forbid you from seeing her ever again.”

  When Laura tried to hang up the phone, Heidi begged, “Please don’t, Laura.”

  “I have to,” Laura said between sobs, and disconnected the call.

  Worried about what might be happening at her friend’s home, Heidi immediately hopped into her car and drove twenty minutes to check on Laura. As she arrived, Heidi saw a big black sedan pulling away with Grant in the passenger seat.

  Laura opened the front door as Heidi approached. Laura was sobbing, her nose was bleeding and Heidi thought it appeared to be broken. One of Laura’s eyes was swollen nearly shut, and the area around it was deep red. Heidi was certain that Laura would have a black eye by the next morning if not sooner. It didn’t take a detective to reach the conclusion that Grant had physically assaulted Laura.

  She suggested that the police should be called, but Laura said, “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m not going to do anything. I’m not going to press charges.”

  “Laura, you need to go to the hospital. You’re pregnant. You need to go to the hospital to make sure everything is all right.”

  “No, no, no. It’s okay. We’re going to get through this. He’s never done this before but it’s okay.” Laura was shaking all over and crying, as she pleaded with Heidi, “Please. I don’t want anybody to know.”

  “Just come out to my car and I’ll drive you to the hospital,” Heidi said.

  Laura continued in her stubborn refusal. Heidi stayed with her for an hour and a half trying to break down her friend’s resistance to seeking medical treatment but to no avail. She finally left after Laura’s tears dried and she had calmed down. When Heidi saw her again a couple of days later, it was clear that Laura had tried to cover up her injuries with makeup, but the swelling and dark coloration were still quite obvious.

  Laura’s first child, Grant Ruffin Hayes IV, was born on May 2, 2008. Heidi visited Laura’s home as soon as she returned from the hospital. With the birth of their grandson, Grant’s parents completely embraced Laura as a member of the family. They often chided Grant to be as supportive of his wife as she was of him. Laura probably would have done well to rely on them a bit more, but she showed no inclination to turn to them about any of the problems she was having with Grant.

  By the time little Grant was two months old, another conflict erupted—this time over immunizations for the baby. Grant said his son would absolutely not get shots. He repeatedly told Laura that the chances of an African-American boy getting autism were far greater than the rest of the population. Laura was in turmoil over the issue. She wanted the protection from childhood diseases for little Grant but she was afraid that her husband might be right. Again, this was a battle Grant won.

  —

  LAURA’S brother Jason met Grant Hayes for the first time when his nephew was about six months old. They had dinner together and hung out for a while, and Jason left thinking that they’d had a good visit.

  Occasionally, after that evening, Jason would go with Laura to bars or clubs to see Grant perform. On one of his subsequent visits to their home, little Grant had been fussy for a while. Laura made sure he wasn’t hungry or in need of a clean diaper, so then left him upstairs to cry, believing the old wives’ tale that it would strengthen his lungs.

  Grant grew progressively more agitated and angry as his infant son continued crying. He snapped at Laura, “Shut him up, whatever it takes.”

  Jason coaxed Grant outside to remove him from the situation, and talked him down into a calmer state of mind. Soon Grant acknowledged he was be
ing too emotional, and matters settled down.

  Not long afterward, Grant, Laura and the baby moved over to an apartment in the Camden Crest complex in North Raleigh, located very close to Jason’s place of employment. He started coming to see his sister every week, either on his lunch break or when the work day was over. Usually when he arrived, Grant retreated to the back bedroom and never came out. The rare times he did emerge, it was only to go to the refrigerator and then back into hiding.

  One day, Laura called Jason and asked if he could come and hang out at lunchtime. About an hour later, Jason arrived and knocked on the door. He could hear arguing and loud commands delivered by Grant to Laura. “He doesn’t need to come around. You don’t need to be hanging out with him. He’s a bad influence.”

  While Grant yelled, baby Grant cried. Laura struggled to calm both of them down at once. And Grant continued ranting. “You don’t need him in your life. I’m all that you need.”

  Jason stayed at the front door for about ten minutes, knocking again and again. He went around to the sliding glass door and tried to look inside. He couldn’t see anything, but by that time all was quiet.

  Jason left, but he kept trying to phone his sister all day. She finally returned his call the next day and said, “In order for us to see each other, it has to be private, when Grant isn’t around. He doesn’t like you.”

  Jason didn’t like the situation, but he realized as long as Laura was in this relationship, she needed contact with family more than ever. Thereafter, the siblings continued to meet in secret, either when Jason came to Laura or when Laura met him at his work.

  Grant continued his attempts to cut Laura off from all family and friends, from anyone who would provide her with support—the pattern of controlling spouses who desire to isolate their partners in order to make them more dependent and therefore more compliant.